


The Date

by Ylith



Category: 50/50 (2011), Warrior (2011)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-17
Updated: 2014-09-17
Packaged: 2018-02-17 19:44:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2321135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ylith/pseuds/Ylith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy had told Adam he didn't want a relationship, but now Adam is going on a date with another man and he's freaking out</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Date

Tommy stares hard at the ceiling, arms behind his head as he lies in bed and tries to think about anything but Adam’s date. Bitter disappointment with himself churns within him, twisting his face into a sour expression as he remembers the exact moment he told Adam he didn’t want a relationship. Adam had sat there on the end of his bed, his lips swollen from kisses neither of them had planned or anticipated until they happened. He’d looked at Tommy, his gentle eyes wide and brimming with hope, and admitted he wanted him, that he’d wanted him for some time and did Tommy want him in return.

Tommy had clammed up then, had said no. He’d fought back that part of himself for so long that the answer was almost automatic, and sometimes he wondered what he’d have said if he’d allowed himself a moment to swallow his fear. Because that’s that it was, he realizes now alone and angry in his room. He is afraid of what will ultimately happen if he says yes, afraid of what that will make him.

Despite his best efforts to distance himself from anything that Paddy Conlon said or did when he was growing up, Tommy still retains some of his old man’s teachings. He still remembers the belt when his father had caught him holding hands with Ronnie Gillespo down the street when he was little, still remembers the being told while training for wrestling in high school “don’t be a fucking fag Tommy!”

He supposes in some way he’d hoped Adam would understand this, that he’d agree with Tommy and they could keep things as they’d been. He’d hoped Adam would stay with him and accept what he could get from Tommy, but instead he’d looked elsewhere. Tommy’s chest hurts as he remembers the first time Adam showed him his online account on a dating site, no longer able to keep it a secret as he’d gotten a few e-mails from guys who wanted to meet him, some just for sex and others for dates. Adam had been so shocked at the response, like he couldn’t believe anyone would want him when Tommy didn’t.

Adam is on a date now, the first of them. If it was with one of the first guys Tommy had seen, the business type who looked slightly effeminate but had kind eyes Tommy may not have minded so much. Adam had blushed when he showed Tommy the guy he was meeting, and Tommy had swallowed hard when he saw the guy. Tall, muscular, tattooed, the guy wasn’t even smiling in the picture and looked like an all around thug. He’d looked like Tommy.

He’d tried to deter Adam, but Adam insisted the guy had been nice in his e-mails, that he was excited to meet him. Tommy had almost given in then, almost pulled Adam close and begged him not to do it with kisses and touches, but he didn’t.

So now they are on their date, and Tommy hates it.

He lays there in bed, arms corded with tension folded beneath his head. What if Adam likes this guy? What if he wants to see him again, and it ends up working out? Tommy imagines having to meet the guy, having to put on a neutral face and pretend he’s happy for Adam. He has no one to turn to though. Brendan and he are getting on better but are still not close, and while he may not hate his father anymore he’ll be damned if he’s going to talk to Patrick fucking Conlon about pining over his best friend.

What if the guy wants to sleep with Adam?

Tommy never really thought about it before, but it hits him now, the realization that Adam may actually have sex with this guy. Before he’d never have imagined Adam as the type, Adam who doesn’t even have a license because he’s too aware of the dangers driving presents. Adam who could barely meet Tommy’s eyes when he told him he had a date, and chewed his nails while Tommy looked at the online profile he’d made because he was so nervous. 

But Adam still took the plunge, he tells himself. Adam is brave enough to go for what he wants, to open up to that part of himself and face all potential rejection and ridicule, which is more than Tommy can say for himself.

Once the idea of Adam having sex is planted though, Tommy finds he can’t get it out of his head. He imagines Big And Burly telling Adam he looks sexy, imagines Adam flushing and nervously chattering as he eats up the attention. Maybe the ego boost will give Adam the confidence to say yes when the guy invites him home, or to even invite this relative stranger back to his own place. Adam insists the guy was sweet in their e-mails, that he puts out the hard image to detract feminine guys, but Tommy isn’t so sure. Would he be gentle with Adam? Would he take things slow and not let Adam get ahead of himself, or jump at the chance to fuck him?

Tommy’s nostrils flare, nausea brewing in the pit of his stomach. He imagines Adam, all shy sweetness as he chews his lip nervously, laying back naked and vulnerable in his bed. He can see Big And Burly grabbing Adam’s thighs and pushing them back, or flipping him over onto his belly and forcing his legs apart. Would Adam be able to work up the courage to ask him to slow down? Tommy can see tears prickling the corners of Adam’s eyes as the guy pushes too hard on his lower back, or grips his bad hip too hard, sees Adam gritting his teeth with a strangled cry as the guy pushes into him too fast, fucks him too hard. He imagines Adam trying to reach back to stop the guy, but Big and Burly just grabs his arms and forces them to the bed and fucks him even harder.

Tommy gets up out of bed, breathing hard. He grabs his phone in the hope there’s some message from Adam, but there isn’t. 

What if the guy ends up being as nice as Adam said? He has the bulk, the tattoos, the hard look just like Tommy, what if he turns out being the perfect alternative who has the bonus of not being hung up on his own bullshit. Tommy is caught off guard by the hurt of that thought. His chest tightens, the tension clawing up to his throat. It’s not as though he can keep fighting forever, not as though he has friends to lose. Tommy can see himself in twenty years, driving in his beater car back to his empty house, Pop’s old Moby Dick tapes rattling through his speakers, and for what? 

Tommy’s jaw clenches, his eyes hot with a flood of emotions. He looks down at his phone and opens Adam’s text folder. He wants to type something, but can’t find the right words. He taps out ‘I was wrong’ but then deletes it. He doesn’t want to unload on Adam during his date, it not only wouldn’t be fair, but Tommy can’t quite swallow the possibility that Adam is having an amazing time, and already moving on. 

Tommy jerks up at a knock to the door. He thinks he misheard at first, but then it’s back, still tentative. He stands and crosses to it, brows furrowing as he opens the door, unsure of who to expect.

Adam is standing on the front stoop of his duplex, nervously biting a nail with his eyes cast down. He looks up at Tommy, a nervous flush spreading over his cheeks all the way to the tips of his hears. “Hi,” he says awkwardly, hang quickly falling to the strap of his messenger bag. “Is this a bad time?”

Tommy shakes his head, still standing in the doorway, just staring at Adam. He doesn’t know what to do or say, so they stand there silent for a long moment. 

Adam fidgets, fingers curling around the strap of the bag. “I had that date tonight....with that guy,” his voice drops with the words, going soft and quiet. Tommy steels himself for whatever might be coming, shoulders tensing up with the anticipation.

Adam looks guilty then, his eyes dropping to the ground. “I really tried,” he mumbles. “I wanted to like him, and he was nice and all, but the whole time…” He glances up to Tommy, sheepish and nervous. His fingers twitch and Tommy can tell Adam is just aching to bite at them to quell his nerves. 

Tommy braces his hand against the doorframe, waiting.

“He’s just not you,” Adam finally says. “I’m sorry, I know you don’t want me like that, I just-”

Tommy grabs him by the front of his shirt and drags him into the duplex, slamming the door shut. Adam actually flinches at that, and Tommy barely has time to feel guilty at scaring him before he’s moving forward, crowding Adam back against the door and kissing him. 

It isn’t like their previous kisses, when they were drunk and fumbling and could write it off later as something they hadn’t really meant. Tommy kisses Adam hard, pressing their mouths until their teeth clink together, grips Adam by the back of the neck so there’s no mistaking his intent. Adam’s brows shoot up, but then he’s moaning, a happy relieved sound that goes right to Tommy’s chest before drifting down to his cock. Adams hands rest against Tommy’s chest at first, passive and compliant, but when Tommy pushes his tongue into Adam’s mouth, his hands finally drift up until his arms wrap around Tommy’s thick neck. 

After their frenzied kissing dies down to gentle brushes of lips, Tommy pulls back and rests his forehead against Adam’s. “I made a mistake,” he breathes out. “I was scared....I’m sorry.”

Adam smiles, burrows his face against Tommy’s neck and hugs him tighter. “It’s ok,” he says. “Are you still scared?”

Tommy nods against him, his arms slung around Adam’s tiny waist, his broad hand gentle against Adams’ long scar. 

Adam smiles, lightly kissing Tommy’s cheek. “Me too, but I’ve been through worse.”

Tommy sighs, nose in Adam’s silky regrowing hair. “Me too.”


End file.
